Saying Goodbye to Shelly

Me, Traci, Lauren and Shelly at Lauren's baby's shower

Shelly brought Ella (1 month old) to Nate's 1st birthday party.

On Thursday November 19th I lost a great friend. A friend who was a fighter.

I was up most of the night of the 18th knowing that something bad could really happen in the next 24- 48 hours. I talked to my nurse friend who gave comfort to Shelly's family that night. I was hoping and praying for that specialist to perform miracles that day. I also know that Shelly's body couldn't take much more. One month ago she was only 94 pounds...what was her body now through all this? I know she was so tired and her little body couldn't take much more. I have done everything I know that a friend could give her through prayer and getting more prayers for her. I thought about her so many times throughout the days and worried about how her family was holding up.

Then I get the call the morning of the 19th. The one call I didn't want to answer because I knew what Traci was going to tell me. Why? Why did this have to happen to her? Why did God take her away from her 8 month old daughter? So going through the anger emotions with God I stopped because that wasn't going to get me anywhere. I always believe that God brings people into your life for a reason. He also brings people into this world and takes them away early for a reason. Reasons I can't explain but I try to give myself a comfort answer to help me through rough patches. So here is what I came up with:

Shelly was brought into my life through Sigma Kappa alumnae group here in Atlanta (that is how I met Traci too) about 7 years ago. I didn't become very close to Shelly until all the weddings in our life started happening around 4 years ago. Then got closer once we all started having babies. It was a group of 4 of us: Traci, Shelly, Lauren and I. I was the outsider that was brought into this group because they all went to UF together and all in SK there together. Also I was the Christian girl and they were brought up Jewish. I can tell you have learned alot about the Jewish faith these last few years. But they never made me feel like the outsider. Just one of the girls. Shelly was the one that always gave her opinion in the group and never held anything back. That is what I loved about her. She always gave 100% whatever she belonged too included the President of the UF alumnae group. These are the things that I looked up to Shelly. She was a leader and not a follower. She inspired me to stay strong in what I believe in and fight for it. She didn't take *** from nobody. I always wished I had that in me because my heart is too soft sometimes.

Then she brought Ella into our lives. She is the only one in our group so far that has had a little girl. We were all excited because we wanted "our son" to be the one that Ella chooses for life. Shelly knew the concerns the Dr had with her getting pregnant but then again she wouldn't let that stop her. This was her dream that she wanted and nothing would stop her. She took every precaution she knew even to have her specialized Dr in there while the c section was being preformed so if there were any complications it could be preformed there. She did everything she knew best just so she could bring a child into this world. She made her goal...she gave us Ella. Shelly didn't leave this world with a fond memory of her, she left us a piece of her. A piece that will always remain special to all of us.

I will truly miss our lunches out together as the 4 of us. It would take us months to plan but I always looked forward to them because I knew it be interesting conversations. The times that Shelly was in the hospital these last couple of months I would catch up with her over IM on Facebook. I wanted to make so many things better for her because I knew how much she missed being away from Ella and Tom. The last time I saw Shelly was the time she was home in Oct. I was by her house and called her telling her I had the Consumer Reports magazine for her to find the vacuum she needed to buy. I didn't come inside because Nate was falling asleep in the car and I had to get home to work. I was really rushed that day but I had enough time to stop for a brief moment and give her a hug. I will cherish that last hug I had with her because I never thought it would be our last.

After telling Shelly goodbye today it made me realize how many people lives she has touch. We all four belong to this online chat group that we call our "mommy group". This group of woman on this site I have been with ever since I got engaged. Once I had Nate we moved over to The Bump. They all knew Shelly and would ask for updates all the time. These past 3 weeks Traci and I have been letting them know how she is doing and asking for prayers. They have reached out tremendously. When you think the world is full of so much hate there is something that grabs you and you realize that there are caring people out there that make this earth a better place. These woman are them. They make my world a better place and make me feel so proud that I know them. Shelly would of been so touch all of them and what they want to do for Tom and Ella.

Shelly will be known to me as my Olympic track star. Someone that fought so many hurtles and was so brave through all of them. That is what I am going to carry in my heart for the rest of my life. I will never forget Shelly.